A few days ago I came to visit my family on the Texas Mexico Border for Christmas. Since as long as I can remember my family has gathered here this time of year. We exchange gifts and share a few meals but in recent years another reason we gather is to visit my mother’s gravesite.
As soon as we arrive at her grave, my aunt, my mom’s sister, usually starts cleaning the site. With the help of my father they clean out all the fallen leaves and debris, and lay down bright colorful flowers. My brother places rocks on top of the headstone and I make a photograph. Always.
Under the shade of Huesache and Mesquite trees we stand quietly and remember her. It’s somber and bittersweet like the many visits we’ve made since her passing.
But it’s also a moment of reflection and clarity for me: Am I doing all I said I would? Am I making her proud? Am I being a person of integrity? Am I reaching my highest self?
It’s a touchstone place for me. I can’t think of a better way to end my year but to go there, lay down my success and my losses from the year, and exhale. I quietly whisper my dreams and hopes for the new year. This is how I say goodbye to the old and welcome the new.
As we finish out the final days of 2011 may you all find that place where you have reflection and clarity.
Thanks to all of you for all your comments, encouragement and support via this blog throughout this past year.
I wish you all a wonderful new year.
My father at the family gravesite, Laredo, Texas /iPhone photograph
